My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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