Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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