my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
