I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
