I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
