Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
