Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need to sanitize my soul.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
