so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
