I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
