I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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