I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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