We're like a lot better than the average bears
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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