My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
