Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
