I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
