I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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