I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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