I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
