nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
