but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Vodka?
Forever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
