sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
