Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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