my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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