I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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