I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How's work?
Spinning.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
