you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
