I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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