Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
