You really coming over, don't trick.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
