i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize