By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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