I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
