So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
