In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
