I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
