wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
