Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
PANTIES FOUND
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