yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize