hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am one with the molecules
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
