The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
