I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
