Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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