just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize