this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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