we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
