it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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