would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize