If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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