Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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