U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
