would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
