xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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