Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize