Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize