planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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