"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize