similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
