she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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