Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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