So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
