Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
