she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
