Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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