i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
