And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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