Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize