he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
