How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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