if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
