Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
